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“Man, does it feel good getting out of the city.” Rolling down his window, Nick sucked in a breath of sixty-mile-an-hour wind from the backseat of Levi and Jamal’s Subaru. “Say, how much further is it ’til we reach the campground?”
The question drew an eyeroll from Levi in the passenger seat up front. “We should be there by now, if Grandma here would get the lead out.”
“Hey, would you like to drive?” Jamal countered. “’Cause if that’s what you prefer, then be my guest.”
“Boys, boys, no need to argue,” Nick inserted. “I didn’t mean to set off a lover’s quarrel.”
Levi pecked Jamal on the cheek. “I’m only teasing, babe. Arrive alive, isn’t that what they say?”
Jamal shook his head. “Sometimes I could murder you.”
“This would be your opportunity,” Levi retorted. “Out in the woods…miles from civilization…where no one can hear me scream.”
Jamal let out a scoff. “Don’t give me ideas.”
Leaning forward, Nick stuck his head between the two boyfriends. “Look, guys, I know I’m just the third wheel here, but is it too much to ask that we keep this trip homicide-free?”
The comment drew a laugh from them all. Bro-friends since college, Nick, Levi, and Jamal had shared everything together. Well, almost everything. When the trio had first met, each of them had been, so they thought, hopelessly single. In Levi and Jamal’s case, though, their singlehood was decidedly less hopeless than they’d expected.
Fortunately, the pair’s budding romance hadn’t caused strain on their friendship with Nick. As far as they were concerned, it was still one for all and all for one—just as it always had been.
Yet, that didn’t stop Nick from wondering, just every so often, the kind of activities his best buds got up to when he wasn’t around. There was no denying it—Levi and Jamal were objectively hot. They put in their time at the gym, and it showed. It was impossible not to notice their lean muscle under their shirts. What Nick wouldn’t haven given to be a fly on their bedroom wall.
Granted, he wasn’t so hard on the eyes himself. His looks sure hadn’t done anything for him lately, though. Sometimes, he envied what Levi and Jamal shared. Both were serious catches. Perhaps in another life, it could have been him with one of them.
There was no use wishing on dead stars, though. Nick was happy, ultimately, for his two pals. Never in a million years would he think of coming between them.
Lately, though, something about their friendship had felt off. It was hard to put a finger on it, but somehow, the trio felt more distant than before. Nick chalked it up to the busyness of life in the city. All of them had demanding jobs, hectic commutes, annoying neighbors—and over time, it all had begun to take its toll.
A little getaway, just the three of them, was exactly what they needed, which was why Nick had taken it upon himself to plan this excursion. Granted, it had taken some convincing to get Levi and Jamal to go along with it, but with a little arm-twisting, Nick had managed to get them to agree.
Some fresh air, some green trees—it was exactly what they needed to relax, recharge, and get their bro-bond back on track. It would be just like old times. No, it would be better than old times. If Nick got his wish, this would be a trip they’d never forget.
“Hey, look at that sign,” Jamal said. “Devil’s Ridge, five miles. We’re almost there!”
“Thank God,” Levi replied. “This is just what we need. A nice, peaceful, relaxing retreat.”
“Agreed,” Nick chimed in. “This weekend is going to be killer.”
No sooner had the words left his mouth than a stern voice came over the radio. “We interrupt this program for an urgent news bulletin. Hank Hutchins, alias The Boner Killer, has escaped Rockwell Asylum for the Criminally Insane.”
Nick went rigid. “Rockwell? Isn’t that around here?”
“And what kind of a name is The Boner Killer?” Levi added.
“Shhh,” Jamal chided. “I’m trying to listen.”
“If seen,” the radio announcer continued, “the public is urged to seek safety and call the police with information.”
“Hank Hutchins,” Levi mused. “Why does that name sound familiar?”
The voice on the radio went on. “The Boner Killer, as he is popularly known, rose to infamy nearly a decade ago with the summer-long slayings of eight young homosexuals.”
“I remember that guy,” Nick blurted. “He had some ax to grind—literally, I guess—with gay dudes. And it was always while they were doing it. One minute, two guys would be going to pound town, and the next, The Boner Killer would show up and hack them into meat scraps.”
“Authorities warn the convict is considered armed and dangerous,” the radio man concluded. “Be advised, this is a developing story. Further reports will be issued as updates become available. In the meantime, all young homosexual men within the tri-state area are urged to exercise extreme caution.”
With that, the radio returned to the sunshine and rainbows of 1990s Britpop. A stunned silence hung between the friends.
“Maybe this camping trip isn’t such a good idea,” Levi finally said.
“Are you kidding me?” Jamal exclaimed. “You know how hard it is for me to get time off work. If we go home now, who knows when we’ll get another chance to do this.”
Levi regarded his boyfriend with disbelief. “Are you seriously telling me you want to go camping in the woods with an escaped ax murderer on the loose? An ax murderer who targets gay men?”
“I’m sure he won’t hide long,” Jamal replied. “How far’s he gonna go?”
“That’s what worries me—Rockwell is barely a couple miles from here,” Levi countered. He held up a G.P.S. map on his phone.
“Guys, guys,” Nick attempted to mediate. “You both have good points. I have an idea, though, for how we can still go camping and stay perfectly safe.”
Looks of confusion clouded Jamal’s and Levi’s faces.
“It’s simple,” Nick continued. “No sex.”
“Well, if that isn’t the—”
“You heard the radio,” Nick explained. “The Boner Killer only strikes when his victims are in flagrante. All we have to do is simply not give him the opportunity.” He made a faint smirk. “Shouldn’t be a problem for me, but you lovebirds think you can keep it in your pants for the weekend?”
An awkward glance passed between Levi and Jamal.
“He’s got a point,” Levi said.
Jamal released a groan. “Yeah, but doing you-know-what out here was supposed to be half the fun.”
Taking his boyfriend’s hand over the center console, Levi planted it with a kiss. “I know I make you horny, babe. It’s only a weekend, though. Surely, you can keep your hands off me that long.”
“Oh, brother,” Nick retorted from the backseat.
“So, it’s decided, then?” Levi confirmed. “We press on? Go camping as planned?”
“I guess so,” Jamal replied, voice tentative. “So much for safe sex.”
Bjorn Wilde 